Why Doesn’t She Want Me?

This is a question many guys ask: why doesn’t she want me? The guy has taken an hour or more to look good and smell good. He’s paid attention to all the little things he can think of that might turn a girl off. He’s on his best behaviour and really trying to impress, but still it doesn’t work out for him. Why? It might seem a mystery to him, but there has to be a good reason.

The reason lies in the things he is doing. It isn’t because he’s ugly – even if he really is. It isn’t because his dress sense is lacking – even if that’s true, and it isn’t because she’s looking for a tall, dark stranger to sweep her off her feet and he’s small and fair either.

The psychology of dating is pretty much the same now as it was decades ago. People are turned off by more or less the same things, generation to generation. That’s why it’s a good idea for guys to learn why she doesn’t want him, and also learn what she does want at the same time.

1. When a guy makes himself too available he becomes less available in the mind of a girl. She knows she can have him if she wants him, and any time she wants him too. That makes him much less attractive in her eyes. He isn’t worth going after because the hunt is predetermined – she already has him in effect, so she doesn’t really want him.

The answer? Never come over as desperate. If the girl is the cutest thing you have ever seen, don’t let it show that you think so. Show an interest by all means; girls don’t like to think they are just a convenience. But try to give an impression that while you are interested in her, you are not desperate for her. If you give the impressions that you have other options she will see you as more interesting and more worth having.

2. Don’t shower her with gifts. Yes, girls do like gifts and if you never offer a gift that might make her wonder too. Just start off with simple gifts, if any. Be generous, but not someone trying to buy her affections. You’ll gain more respect, and when you do buy her a gift she will appreciate it all the more.

You have to be the one who leads. Constant gift buying might on the surface seem an affectionate thing to do, but it smacks of insecurity and a lack of knowing what else to do. Instead of buying gifts all the time, try showing your affection in other more mature ways. You will gain more respect and stand a better chance of keeping your girl too.

3. Never grovel or constantly apologise. You will come over as a wimp. Girls want their guys to be strong and forceful. If you make a mistake, then yes, it is time to apologise, but that’s different from the guy who is always apologising. He sounds like a pathetic guy who can never get it right. Then if he grovels and begs her forgiveness for something, it makes it all the worse. Be the man, but be gentle too. You’ll get a lot further that way.

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