Small Talk – One of the Secrets to Dating Success

It may be that you are tall, dark and handsome or curvy, sexy and very pretty. You may be smartly dressed and well turned out. You may be attentive and extremely personable, but if you can’t indulge in good, interesting small talk on a date, you are missing out on one of the key ingredients essential for a successful dating experience.

Small talk is exactly that. It isn’t a deep meaningful conversation about the meaning of life. It’s more like celebrity gossip, what’s currently hot on TV, or what the weather is likely to be at the weekend. It’s small, mostly insignificant, talk about simple and interesting things that affect us all. It fills an evening quite nicely, and more importantly, it lets each partner discover what the other likes and doesn’t like.

If you are poor at indulging in small talk on a date you will end up guessing what your dating partner likes and dislikes. You will probably make the wrong decisions, which will only serve to confuse you and annoy your partner. This is not the best way to ensure a second date. In fact, it will pretty much guarantee that your first date will be the only one. With that in mind, what can you do to become more adept at small talk?

Concentrate more on the other person. Show an interest in him or her. We all love to be the centre of attention and after a while we feel the need to reciprocate, which is where you get the chance to answer their questions. It quite naturally becomes simple small talk. This is how you get to know someone. There’s really no short cut around the natural question and answer ritual we humans love to indulge in. Avoiding small talk on a date will make you appear uncaring, clumsy and not the kind of person likely to be asked out on another date.

Some people seem to think that indulging in small talk involves speaking constantly. It is not. Listening to the other person is as important as talking. It’s the exchange of information, a little bit you and a little bit them, that makes successful small talk. By all means offer information about yourself, but never too much. Leave the other person room to ask questions. If you tell too much you will come over as boring, and then there will be nothing left to ask about. That’s not effective small talk.

On the other hand, don’t do all the asking either. If you force the other person to constantly answer all your persistent questions you will come over as prying and inquisitive. It will seem a bit like undergoing the third degree, or a session with the Spanish Inquisition. It will also come over as a bit weird. Make sure that there is a healthy exchange of information or discussion. That’s small talk.

Don’t try to practice small talk. That will only make it seem unnatural when you come to do it for real. Small talk works best when it natural and spontaneous. Don’t dominate the conversation, and don’t let your dating partner dominate it either. Don’t stick too long on any one subject; keep the subjects varied and interesting. If you mention something that seems to make your partner uncomfortable, change the subject. Keep the small talk lively and interesting and you will come over as a fun person who stands a very good chance of getting a second date!

Enjoy a new lease of life with Dateline Platinum – a professional dating agency

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