Playing Hard to Get, or Ruining Your Chances of Success?

Girls are often told that they should play hard to get and not be too available. That can be good advice as no guy really wants his steady girl to be too loose and fancy free. He might seek that trait in a casual one night stand where the consequences don’t matter to him, but when it comes to someone he wants to be serious about, he is looking for more integrity all round.

So, how do you know whether or not you are playing hard to get, or being so hard to get that you are ruining your chances of success? It can be a hard call and it’s a fine line to walk. You want to be elusive, but not unattainable, slightly mysterious, but not a complete mystery, secretive, but not a total stranger. How do you manage to achieve this and still maintain your dignity? It’s easy really. This article will gently push you in the right direction.

1. Don’t rush in. Perhaps your first date with a guy is going really great. You feel like this could take off and become a whirlwind of excitement. Slow down. We’ve all been there and it’s natural to want to spin along with the excitement and thrill of it all, but there’s a better way. Force yourself to be a little restrained. Don’t be unfriendly or frigid – just hold back a little. That way you can size up the situation better. He needs to feel that he has made some inroads, but not that he has conquered. Leave him thinking that there’s hope, and therefore a reason to stay interested in you, but not that the battle has been won and that new conquests await him.

2. Pick and choose to some extent. Don’t be too elusive or he will lose interest. If he asks for a date, agree to it if it’s convenient. If it isn’t convenient, say so and give the reason if pressed. He will learn that he must respect your time and that you are not always at his beck and call. But if you agree to go out on dates when it’s convenient for you, he will also learn that you are approachable at times. It’s a balancing act, but not too difficult to get right. Leave him with the impression that you enjoy life and that he is certainly an enjoyable part of your life, but not the whole of it.

3. Be there, but not always there. Exchange phone numbers on your first date by all means if you want to have a second date, but never be the one who calls first. That’s his job, and he should know it too. The guy should be doing the running in the early part of the relationship. Yes, girls are more liberated these days, but some basic things should not change – at least, not too much. He expects to run after you, so let him. He might like it initially if you call him first, but deep inside he will probably feel a little uncomfortable about a girl who takes the lead. Let him call first. It’s in your best interests to do so.

Dateline Platinum are an introduction agency with a difference to find out more call 0800 840 1866 or request a brochure and take our free online relationship test.

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