How to Write a Killer First Contact eMail

You’ve browsed through the online dating site of your choice. You’ve found a person who interests you, and now you are going to write them a first contact email. Like any first contact method, this is a critical time. for if you get it wrong you will likely not hear from them again. Getting it right, on the other hand, could mean the start of a beautiful relationship. It’s that important. With this in mind, here are a few tips on how to write a killer first contact email.

1. Start off by mentioning something from their profile that interested you. Make it something positive of course. Don’t be so insensitive as to say something like, “I’m amazed that a girl of 300 pounds would bother to use a dating site.” That is not complimentary, just plain weird. Make it complimentary, but do it subtly. This is about their abilities, Find something good that they should be proud of and briefly mention your admiration for it, but don’t overdo it.

2. Don’t praise yourself up, or put yourself down. Let your own profile stand for itself. Let the other person judge you on the merits of your profile as it stands. That’s what it’s there for. Anything you add or detract from your profile in your first contact email is quite unnecessary. It shows insecurity and a lack of maturity. Write with a confident voice, but not overly so.

3. Don’t put the cart before the horse. In other words, don’t mention what you’d like to do on a first date. That’s jumping the gun and making the assumption that there will be a first date. Don’t even qualify it by saying something like, “If we go out on a date…” That’s also going too far. Your first contact email is just that – the first contact. Keep it friendly and warm, though not too warm. Make it apparent that you would like to take things further, but do it gently and subtly; don’t scare the other person off at this early stage. You are aiming to get a reply. That’s your main objective here.

4. Never make any mention of the other person’s appearance or physical attributes. This will be information you will find in their profile. If a girl mentions that she’s blonde, don’t say something like, “I like girls who have blonde hair.” If a guy mentions that he’s into body building, don’t say something like, “I like men with big muscles.” It’s quite simply a very shallow thing to do. The other person will know that you have read their profile, and they will assume that you like what you found in there.

5. The best way to end your first contact email is to ask a question, something about the other person that they will like to expand on. For example, if his profile says that he loves to travel. Try asking where he’s been. If her profile says that she likes sailing, ask her what kind of boats she has sailed in, and where. People love to talk about themselves. They also love to meet others who are interested in what they like to talk about. It’s human nature, so capitalise on it and ask them to tell you more. They’ll love you for it, and they will have a compelling reason to reply to your first contact email.

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