Don’t Ask and Do Ask – What to Say and Not Say on a Date

There are questions that it are OK to ask on a date, and there are question that should never be asked if you want the date to be a successful one, with perhaps the chance of a second date. Sometimes it’s not always obvious which question work best and which ones shouldn’t even be considered. Dating is a nerve-wracking experience at best, so if you blow it by asking something stupid it will only get even more stressful. With that in mind, here are 7 question you should and shouldn’t ask on a date.

1. Sex! Yes, you may be thinking it, but do not ever, ever even mention it, far less ask any kind of question that involves it as the subject. Probably the most crass thing you could possibly ask of the person you are dating is their favourite position. Think about it, that’s going way too far and crossing several lines that should never be crossed. Asking any kind of question that involves sex – even slightly – is not showing much respect to the other person.

2. Ask about the other person’s interests and hobbies. Try to find something you share in common. That can be the best ice-breaker of all. If you can hit on something you both know a lot about and you both like, then the conversation will flow freely. You will both become much more relaxed and even start to laugh together.

3. Don’t ask anything about an ex. It’s very likely, unless you are both 13, that you have both had other relationships. They have no place in the conversations of a date though. Don’t ask the person you are dating anything about their past lovers, and don’t supply any information about your ex’s either! If you want a relationship to blossom, talk about things that will let that happen.

4. Ask about travel. Everyone travels a bit these days, so ask about exotic holidays and places you may both have visited. In this way you can learn a lot about another person’s likes and dislikes. Perhaps you both have a smattering of another language picked up on holiday in that country, or perhaps you both like a certain foreign food tasted while abroad. Travel can be a great subject for opening up the conversation in lots of interesting ways.

5. Don’t ask personal questions. These can include a whole range of things, such as what he or she earns, what colour of underwear they prefer, or whether they like a shower or a bath best. There is a line that you can cross with personal things. It isn’t always obvious, but if it’s something you would feel uncomfortable about answering, then it’s likely that the other person will too.

6. Ask about movies, music and books. These three safe staples are excellent non-threatening subjects to ask and talk about. Everyone likes some kind of music, we all like movies and most of us read too. Again, try to find something that you share in common. It will ease any tension and make the evening a better experience.

7. Don’t ask the other person if they like you. This question is sometimes asked towards the end of a date. It will most likely kill off any chance of a second date. If the other person likes you it should be obvious. You won’t have to ask.

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