Britons take their dating more slowly

Close to 70% of the 18 million British first dates last year were started online. That’s some statistic. It also seems that the average time for the first date was around a healthy four hours. That was after spending three times that in the build up.

The recent survey by Parship.co.uk shows that Britain’s first date couples are swimming against the tide of expert opinion. The experts recommend that first timers should keep it short, fast and sweet. First dates that are too long can become strained with each one wondering what to say and do next. The longer the first date takes, the less likelihood there is of there being be a second one, or so the experts think…

British lovers have cheerfully ignored the advice of the stuffy “experts” and they are investing as much as a very serious 20 hours and 9 minutes in their encounters of the first kind – dating kind, that is. With statistics stating that only one in five first dates ever go on to be two, three, or more dates, this might seem to be a very risky investment.

Last year saw 8 million Britons engaging in 18 million first dates. That’s more than two each on average. Some 68% of the first dates were as a result of couples meeting initially online at dating sites. Being introduced to someone through a friend happened 13% of the time, spontaneous meet-ups in bars accounted for 5% of the first dates, and skipping out with someone from work was the least popular way at only 4%.

Dating for the first time is not a simple affair. There’s a whole preparation, dissemination and analysis process that has to be gone through. At least, the way the survey breaks it down makes it seem like that.

The set up procedure takes an average of 5 hours and 36 minutes. This is the bit where they communicate with each other, asking questions, receiving answers, and all the time wondering, is this the one!

This is followed by something termed the pre-date fantasy period. During this stage each side creates a fantasy model of what the other person is like. Usually the fantasy is greater and better than the real thing, but underneath they both know this. The fantasy period is a time of imagining what it will be like to meet the other person, imagining what it will be like to laugh with them, touch them, kiss them – and all that kind of stuff. The pre-date fantasy period can last for as long as 4 hours and 45 minutes on average.

Next follows the pre-date preparation and grooming period. This one is pretty much self explanatory. It’s where the girl makes herself pretty while the boy makes himself pretty as well, but in a cool, suave kind of way, of course. This bit takes up around 2 hours of time.

The big moment arrives – the actual date itself. Remember, this is a first date and a pretty nervous time for both of them. A respectable 4 hours and 18 minutes are devoted to the first date. Much longer than the experts advise, but what do they know!

After the first date comes the post-date analysis period. This bit can take 3 hours and 30 minutes on average. It’s where they each remember what happened, lingering over the good bits while trying to forget the not so good bits. It’s where they will each decide whether or not there will be a second date. A lot hinges on the post-date analysis phase.

So, what can we all learn from this? Just to be yourself, really. Oh, and try to ignore the experts when it comes to dating advice. Just go with the flow and have fun. Around 8 million Britons did last year. Will you join them this year?

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